Best Review Ever of a Corolla:

"Steve is equipped with Electronic Fool Injection" (itsalwayssteve)
07/30/2014 at 14:47 • Filed to: None

I was at work ordering leather interior for a new Corolla and we had some questions about the color so I googled 2014 Corolla. I found this.

From !!!error: Indecipherable SUB-paragraph formatting!!! :

My toaster broke the other week. Halfway through the process of cooking my gourmet Pop-Tart breakfast, the thing crapped out with a small bang, leaving my delicious morning treats trapped inside. To rectify the situation, I ventured out to a big box store, located the toaster aisle, and ran a couple of questions through my mind. Do I need two slots or four? Do I need to spend more than 20 bucks on this thing? Should I just buy a toaster oven to give me a wider range of bachelor-pad cooking functionality? After no more than two minutes of contemplation, I grabbed the cheapest one on the shelf, paid and left the store. The new toaster works just fine.

This sort of unemotional shopping experience is how I suspect people decide to purchase the !!!error: Indecipherable SUB-paragraph formatting!!! . It's a perfectly fine appliance, and to a good number of people in the world, the bond between a car and a driver is no more important than the connection I feel to my toaster.

DISCUSSION (34)

cabarne4 > Steve is equipped with Electronic Fool Injection
07/30/2014 at 14:50

This is amazing.

zeontestpilot > Steve is equipped with Electronic Fool Injection
07/30/2014 at 14:52

Are Corolla's really that bad? I mean, they look generic, but looks aren't everything, right?

RiceRocketeer Extraordinaire > zeontestpilot
07/30/2014 at 14:57

Most cars today are like that. I think the Corolla gets the most heat because it was the first to do beige so competently and every compact since has tried to be more like it.

zeontestpilot > RiceRocketeer Extraordinaire
07/30/2014 at 14:59

I drove my dad's '05 Corolla, is was a blast to drive, at least compared to other cars I have driven. But it looks horrible on the outside.

Steve is equipped with Electronic Fool Injection > zeontestpilot
07/30/2014 at 15:00

They're not bad. They're just...boring. They're good for people who don't like to drive and want a commuter. Here's another bit from later in the article:

The car goes, it stops, it turns and it parks. Easily. We can pretty much guarantee the vast majority of Corolla buyers aren't interested in sporty dynamics, and for them, driving this new Toyota is a non-event, just like its predecessors.

zeontestpilot > Steve is equipped with Electronic Fool Injection
07/30/2014 at 15:04

Oh man, and I had a five-point master plan to get me a '05 Corolla. I want to drives a sporty fun car, :(,

RiceRocketeer Extraordinaire > zeontestpilot
07/30/2014 at 15:04

Not to bash, but have you driven anything else for comparison? I'm not sure "blast" is how I'd describe a bone stock '05 Corolla ...

EL_ULY > Steve is equipped with Electronic Fool Injection
07/30/2014 at 15:04

did someone say toaster?

-Audi owner. The good older kind before the botox.

zeontestpilot > RiceRocketeer Extraordinaire
07/30/2014 at 15:09

Nope. To give you an idea, the Corolla was the most responsive car I have ever driven. I've driven a '00 Malibu, the Corolla, a Kia Rondo, and my own car a '08 PT Cruiser (bought before I embarked into the car world). I've driven other cars, but that was before I became a gearhead; so I never took mental notes on how they drove.

I can't help but wonder what a Miata drives like though....

Stapleface-Now Hyphenated! > Steve is equipped with Electronic Fool Injection
07/30/2014 at 15:10

The Corolla gets a bad rap in my opinion. Its excellent at what it is, which is a reliable commuter car. It can keep up with traffic just fine. No its not a corner carver or 1/4 mile demon, but that's not what it was designed for. It just works, and usually does so rather flawlessly (provided you follow regular maintenance). My biggest gripe about the Corolla is I wish it had more legroom. But then again I'm 6'1.

PS9 > zeontestpilot
07/30/2014 at 15:11

On the same day I test drove a Mazda 6, Malibu and Avalon, my friend tested the new corolla. I asked him what he thought of it.

He yawned.

zeontestpilot > PS9
07/30/2014 at 15:18

....maybe it's cuz I'm not use to other cars....I think some Opponauts should give me a ride in their car, just so I can know the difference...

FrederickLawOlmsteez > Steve is equipped with Electronic Fool Injection
07/30/2014 at 15:18

Describing something as a "commuter car" is just a shitty attempt to excuse it from all measure of quality and enjoyment. Mazda makes cars at this price point and below and they manage to put fantastic steering racks and good breaks on all of them. I must admit that this is the nicest looking Carolla to date. Toyota stepped up their designs slightly across their whole line this year.

mXxxxXm24 /O/ /O/ > Steve is equipped with Electronic Fool Injection
07/30/2014 at 15:21

That's perfect. Exactly what I have tried to convey in the past about cars like the corolla; aimed at people who aren't passionate about cars. Will be using this in the future!

ly2v8-Brian > Steve is equipped with Electronic Fool Injection
07/30/2014 at 15:25

My thoughts on this car exactly.

Jayhawk Jake > zeontestpilot
07/30/2014 at 15:27

I think it's largely that they've always been a boring appliance, but all their competitors have become more interesting.

So they aren't terrible, but they are the most boring choice in their segment.

Spoon II > zeontestpilot
07/30/2014 at 15:28

I have one, purchased primarily because it was the most comfortable car in that price range that for someone my height. But honestly, with the manual transmission I always manage to have fun with it.

zeontestpilot > Spoon II
07/30/2014 at 15:31

I was thinking that I would be fun with a manual. Plus, the mileage is great since I would like a commuter car.

zeontestpilot > Jayhawk Jake
07/30/2014 at 15:33

Eh, it's better than a GM product......

RiceRocketeer Extraordinaire > zeontestpilot
07/30/2014 at 15:35

Time to get test drivin' then. See if anyone's running something like the Ford Ecoboost Challenge near you soon ... http://ecoboostdrive.com/

zeontestpilot > RiceRocketeer Extraordinaire
07/30/2014 at 15:43

Seriously Ford? You are based in Michigan. I live in Michigan. You can't have a Ecoboost Challenge in your own state?

Jayhawk Jake > zeontestpilot
07/30/2014 at 15:44

DURR GM JOKE DURR

Seriously? GM makes some damn good cars.

Mercedes Streeter > RiceRocketeer Extraordinaire
07/30/2014 at 15:47

Oh, so that explains all of the Ford banners and Michigan plated vehicles outside of my workplace some weeks ago.

Hmmm...Currently there are a ton of BMW i3s trolling about with New York plates. I guess BMW's invite only i3 event is now here in Chicago.

BJ > Steve is equipped with Electronic Fool Injection
07/30/2014 at 15:48

Humourous review, but it bugs me.

Most people don't care about driving dynamics or sportiness or a whole lot of other enthusiast parameters, no matter what car they buy. Do we need to keep shitting on people because they decide to buy practical transportation? I mean, honestly, my car is a much "cooler" than the Corolla, but for the type use it gets, it could be replaced with a Camry and no-one would notice the difference. Should I feel bad now, too?

Steve is equipped with Electronic Fool Injection > zeontestpilot
07/30/2014 at 15:49

This is the Corolla you want:

Kinja'd!!!

Better brakes, suspension, and the 2ZZ engine from the Celica GTS. Only available with the 6-speed manual. Made only in 05 and 06 model years

Steve is equipped with Electronic Fool Injection > BJ
07/30/2014 at 16:00

I guess the point is that it's a car for people who don't like to drive. It's practical, reliable, and economical. That's all. Nobody gets excited about a Corolla.

zeontestpilot > Jayhawk Jake
07/30/2014 at 16:06

Its not like that, at I don't think it is. Just hear me out.

The recalls make me iffy about it. Sure, you can get it fixed, but GM has had recalls for simple things like "turn signal bulb burns out" to serious things like "loss of power steering". Its a major concern of mine. And as GM is going through it's history looking for issues to recall (I guess to cover their butt or to show they care? not sure), the seriousness of the recalls are very sporadic. I was surprised there were other ignition issues being recalled (Monte Carlo, Impala, Grand Prix), I thought the ignition recall was in the past. My concern is that if I get one of the cars that would be in my price range, and I then discover a serious issue that's on the to-be recalled list. I'm trying to be cautious really.

Sorry if I came off as a jerk, I wasn't trying to be. Looking back, I can see that I was sounding like a jerk. I'm not opposed to GM, I'm playing the waiting game with them. And they do make good cars, I secretly lust for a post '04 Grand Prix. But the ignition issue makes me hesitant. I live on dirt roads, which aren't always graded, and the key is bound to be knocked out of position.

zeontestpilot > Steve is equipped with Electronic Fool Injection
07/30/2014 at 16:08

Darn it, if only I had the money! Its the perfect car-weapon. No one will see it coming....

Jayhawk Jake > zeontestpilot
07/30/2014 at 16:23

If you had specified old GM stuff, fine. Your OP has a new Corolla, so I assumed we were talking current products.

zeontestpilot > Jayhawk Jake
07/30/2014 at 16:34

Fair enough. I can't afford anything new anyways.

Fleetwouldhoon > Steve is equipped with Electronic Fool Injection
07/30/2014 at 16:40

I had the (dis)pleasure of driving a 2014 Corolla L about 150 miles a while ago, and I thoroughly disliked it. 1.8l making 132hp connected to an "economical" 4-speed auto. It was dull to the power of umpteen.

If you express apathy towards all things automotive and just need a breadbox commuter, this is it.

Apologies for potato cam picture, but I think that an iPhone 3G camera is one step away from a flip phone's.

BJ > Steve is equipped with Electronic Fool Injection
07/30/2014 at 17:10

Nobody gets excited about a Corolla's driving dynamics, unless they've been driving an Oldsmobile from the mid-1980s. It's all relative!

mazda616 > Steve is equipped with Electronic Fool Injection
07/31/2014 at 11:59

Corollas are excellent transportation appliances. My mom and step-dad bought one brand new in 2000 because our '94 Jeep Grand Cherokee was eating gas on my mom's 80-mile-per-day commute (and the wonderful '90s gas prices were drawing to a close). It served us well, regularly getting over 35 MPG and never once breaking down - until my step-dad ran a stop sign and t-boned a Cadillac Deville. The Deville was able to drive away. The Corolla was critically injured and went on to that great junkyard in the sky (or to a body shop and back onto a sales lot with a rebuilt title, who knows).

wkiernan > Steve is equipped with Electronic Fool Injection
08/03/2014 at 09:53

Except it's not the cheapest one on the shelf. I went to Toyota's USA website and the base price appears to be $16,800.

I say "appears to be" because when I get curious about a car currently for sale new and I go to manufacturer's web sites they almost always have a "build your own" feature, where I can check out what options are available for what price. What colors do they come in? Can I get one with a manual transmission? What engines are available, what are their specs? Is there a handling package I can add? Is there an infotainment package I can delete? and so on.

But not Toyota USA! Got to the "Corolla" section, click on "build your own," and it demands your zip code, then it takes you straight to a page showing a local dealer's current inventory. I don't even see anything in the listings on that page telling me what kind of engine or transmission is in any particular car. You have questions about the models available? Well then fuck you and your stupid questions, these here are what we can sell you off the lot with zero effort, take your pick or take a hike. No kidding, that's the lousiest car manufacturer's site I've seen in quite a while. It's like they're trying to chase off anybody with any curiosity about cars.